Dear sisters...Hijaab

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Fatime Miah on May 17, 2010 at 5:38am

Auudhu billaahi minasshaytaanir rajiim
Bismilläähi rahmaani rahiim
Salaam alaykum,

a clip from Shaykh Nazims sobha on 10 May 2010:

Don't follow western fashions, but follow heavenly fashions. Men, and particularly women, every time they are using so many things to be seen as beautiful ones, that gives them much more ugliness! And when they are in their graves, no will be able to approach them because such a bad smell will be coming from them!

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Permalink Reply by Noor Evelyn on May 19, 2010 at 12:07pm

MashAllah sister, I feel the way you do. May Allah reward you for your efforts and make us all stronger in out believes. Amin

dena said:

Assalam alaykom w rahmatullah w barakatu

I don't understand, can you please explain why some people equate hijab with oppression and forcing someone to wear something and then bringing up horseback riding and driving cars? What does hijab have anything to do with any of this? It's one thing to not wear the hijab and know that you should. It's another thing to not wear hijab and reject its truth. To not wear hijab and know that you should means you are on the way. You're struggling with yourself and as long as there is some struggle, no matter at what level you're in then that's the best anyone can do. But no struggle at all and denying the truth? Then we need to struggle to accept the truth first.
As Sultan reminded us today in his heavenly suhba - no opinions in Islam. May Allah forgive me for holding any opinions that i am aware of and opinions that i'm not even aware of that is not in accordance with TRUTH. We wish to be Haqqani defenders of Truth, as Sultanul Awliya is the Purest Haqqani on this planet. We wish to follow in his footsteps. Look at his blessed wife, Hajja Anne Allah give her the highest ranks and bless her soul. What was she wearing? Look at his blessed daughters Hajja Naziha and Hajja Rukiyah, Allah give them both long lives and bless them. What do they wear? These are our examples as ladies and we must look to them and slowly slowly adapt to that way. We believe they are on Truth so we need to drop from our lives what is wrong. And it is not something to be done instantly. Maybe for some people mashaAllah they can take baya and reach their heavenly station instantly thru the high level of their yaqeen. But for most people we are struggling with our dirtiness to try to reach to a better place, one baby step at a time elhamdulillah.

I think there is a danger in these kinds of topics, sorry, no offense meant for anyone. I think we all have good intentions. But there is a danger because we are not scholars and we have no ijaza to make any dawa or to make any fatwa. We can be saying things that are mixed - some good some bad - and we can mislead others. And because we are still babies our advice may come out harsh or carry a bad smell and a person cannot accept it and run away from truth. But we all can accept anything our Master says because we love him and we follow him. It's the best to refer back to our Masters and Holy Quran and Holy Hadith, as one sister, alfaqeerah, did.

Only yesterday Sultanul Awliya reminded us ladies, specifically for ladies, that we must dress with honor in our Islamic dress. And with so much love he said "I am addressing my ego I am angry with my ego only not anyone else. May Allah forgive me and you". SubhanAllah this is the way of Sultan. None of us can give any excuse for our ego because if Sultanul Awliya is not giving any excuse for his ego that is under his command, then we should be ashamed. We are not at the level of Sultan we are not at the level of Qutb al Mutasarrif. These people have left dunya and not only they are on truth.. they are THE TRUTH.

Sayyedi Mawlana Shaykh Hisham also in the passed few suhbahs has mentioned the importance of wearing full Islamic covering for ladies and also to stay at home and not working with men. He mentioned to us the story of his engagement and Sayyedi Mawlana Shaykh Adnan's engagement also, to the two pious ladies that we must look up to for the best example. He said they covered everything and only showed their face to their future husbands the day of their meeting. They are giving us examples we learn from these examples, just like all the countless stories we are hearing in the suhbahs of other awliyaAllah. We're lucky they are giving us lessons for ladies also to learn what is the best way so we can audit ourselves.

I really can't understand why once hijab is mentioned we hear about men oppressing women in everything. Oppression is wrong. But hijab is truth. la ikraha fid-deen, no compulsion in religion, but don't make this your excuse not to follow truth.

I am the worst one to talk about this topic. I came from a background of rejecting all sunnah and all hadith and rejecting the significance of Rahmatan lil aalameen Sayyedna Muhammad salla Allah alayhi w sallam even though i accepted Allah swt ... who is worse than this? Astaghfirullah this is my background i cannot run away from it. And i struggled to wear the hijab on so many levels. First for accepting its truth and the true meaning in the verses, then for changing my wardrobe, then for accepting what people i love may think of me. So many levels it was an issue for me, that's how weak and far away i am. Elhamdulillah i wear it now but i need to make it better and i think i have a long way to go. It's taking too long for me and sometimes i get so fed up with myself for not being able to carry even the smallest commands in real Islam. But elhamdulillah w shukrulillah as long as Allah is giving me another breath it means He is not fed up with me and is giving me another chance and another chance and another chance. Huwa as-Saboor with His servants. And also Huwa al-Ghafoor. If we take one step towards Allah, Allah takes 100 towards us. I'm just so weak sometimes i think wow ... look at awliyaAllah who sacrificed EVERYTHING who went without food without water without anything to reach yaqeen. Who made seclusion and purified themselves. Look at Sultanul Awliya who was sentenced to over 100 years in prison for being on the truth and making azaan in Arabic. And i'm struggling to dress properly or eat with my right hand or have adab??? Where am i in relation to these people? It makes me sick. But subhanAllah even though we're so weak and so nothing worth even mentioning... we're not garbage to our Masters. They are trying to pick us up from the garbage and clean us off and perfume us and we keep saying no we like it here hehehe. They see our real value and for that they keep reminding and keep reminding and never tiring from it. Allah forgive us and bless them really.

There is outer knowledge and there is inner knowledge. Why in your picture Shirzad mashaAllah you're wearing perfect sunnah clothes ... women also should enjoy the same level you reached and be happy doing it too as you are elhamdulillah. The outer knowledge is the shariah, it is the sunnah clothes, the hijab, the turban, etc etc. The inner knowledge is like you mentioned, the hijab on the heart. To lower your gaze don't stare at the opposite gender. To not think bad thoughts all the time about your brother or your sister. Try to respect her or respect him, you're right this is the hijab also and we all need to struggle on that level also.

Elhamdulillah my parents raised me in a way that i always felt ashamed to get too close to a man but if i don't cover myself properly it doesn't stop a man to get too close to me. Hijab is a divine protection for women, it is like a heavenly shield and the better we wear it the stronger the shield is. I can look down, i can try to avoid conversation in close proximity, i can try not to get so close physically, but if the man is over-run by his desires, then he's like an animal. Can you tell an animal "no keep your respect"? No an animal sees what it wants and runs after it you can't reason with it. So considering most people in this world are over-run by their desires, it's better for us to wear our shield. Don't take that shield away from us and say o it's ok men are just insecure. No, the man who says to wear hijab is not the enemy, he's the hero. He's saying something that will protect and help a woman in this jungle called dunya. The man who says "no need to wear hijab forget it those men are just insecure", i'm sorry i can't trust in a man like that.

SubhanAllah there was a time in my life where some men asked for my hand in marriage on condition that i wear hijab and i rejected them because of their condition because i didn't want an "insecure man who doesn't respect my wishes". And now that i know the truth, there was a certain man who told me don't wear hijab you're in america don't make it hard on yourself... and now i feel a person like that is the "insecure man".

The topic of being oppressive towards women is a totally different topic, along with horseback riding, driving cars and fighting in wars. And i'm sorry if a man asked me to go fight in a war in the name of equality, i think that's "cruel unnecessary hardship" on me because i don't have the strength of a man.

I think i'm being very harsh in this reply but there is a really big difference in knowing the truth and not being able to follow it for whatever reasons and circumstances that you're facing in your life.. and between just flat out denying the truth. I'm the first to say i barely follow anything properly and asking forgiveness from our Shuyookh for being so so so weak and helpless without them. But we need to make an effort to at least recognize what is truth and what is wrong and not encourage other people to keep sleeping in their heedlessness and say "don't worry it's ok". No let's help pick each other up and stop giving each other more sleeping pills. Forgive me, i'm sorry. Things like this really get me upset because for so long in my life the truth was so close but so far from me and all because people misguided me. It is so precious for every person to know the truth at least. This is our right and i feel so cheated to have not known the truth all my life. We can't cheat each other it's not fair. It's enough our egos keep cheating us over and over by not changing our ways to better ways. We don't need on top of that misunderstandings and misinterpretations clouding our judgment. If people in my life didn't distort the truth from me, maybe my life would have been so different by now and maybe i wouldn't have had to suffer many things i wish i never had to suffer. Truth brings mercy and protection. We can't deprive others from it it's not fair at all. If you knew me when i was 5 or 6, would you tell me as your sister in Islam hijab is just a backwards Arabian tradition from the desert, knowing that telling me this lie might potentially put me in danger one day in society or put me in a bad situation in front of Allah bringing down on me more and more problems in my life? Is that real love? This is the lie i learned from quran-alone scholar, Rashad Khalifa that i spent 26 years of my life being cheated on from it and one year on top of that trying to clean myself from it and only thru this tareeqa did they clean it from me. Allah protect us from shaytan.

I don't believe Allah is so harsh that if you're a lady living in the West and are struggling to do something you believe in and asking Allah to forgive you and strengthen you, that Allah will reject your sincerity. I don't believe that at all. May Allah strengthen us all more and more. And may Allah give us more mercy towards each other not to be so harsh with each other also. And also give us the strength to believe in the truth even if it doesn't fit our own desires at the moment and change us to love what Allah loves and hate anything that keeps us away from Allah's love. And never let that change our love to each other as human beings no matter what level we think someone else is in. None of us as babies in tareeqa knows where anyone else is in their path. We as babies have no right, only our Shuyookh have that right and that haqq on us.

Shirzad, i am not singling you out in any way. MashaAllah you are a good example for all other men in your clothing and mashaAllah you have beautiful quran playing on your page it's lovely and i think once you had some of your Islamic music on here it was lovely also mashaAllah. You are right that hijab is so much more than just a piece of clothing. We need shariah plus ihsan. :)

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Permalink Reply by Bibi jAMYlah wife of Bashir on May 19, 2010 at 1:34pm

I think it's best if we all keep in mind that there can be several factors which go into a choice, whether it's a choice of obedience or disobedience. A lot of us are sick in one way or another, most often emotionally. Those of us who grew up in a western country and are female (especially if we are converted to Islam and are not reared from birth in it) learn, whether we want to or not, that a woman's value is based on her attractiveness. So many of us girls grew up learning how effective it is to get attention and care from boys or men by appealing to them! So many of us girls have felt "messed up" inside on days when we didn't look as good as we would like. This is not an easy thing to undo, and when you add so many other factors to a person's makeup it can truly become complex. In fact, I think I can safely say that if women, even women on the path to God, didn't feel this need, you would not see so many pictures (even on this very website) of women at their most beautiful, whether they are wearing a hijab or not! Honestly I've wondered to myself if we really truly strived to be more pious if we wouldn't try to make ourselves as ugly as we possibly could.

Islamically men are admonished to cherish and value women as gifts from God and take care of them physically and emotionally regardless of their outer beauty. The best of men can do this with a woman even if her inner character isn't the hottest either. But truth be told, a lot of men struggle to make that kind of emotional investment into a woman, even if he cares about her immensely, if he doesn't find her physically attractive in some way. That's just the real, and as a result we women suffer and rely on what we've come to see as dependable, to get our deeper needs of attention met.

We would all love to be ideal, and I think most of us ladies on here would love to be free of the need to be "pretty" to feel worthy and valuable. My point in saying this is that for some women, wearing a hijab makes them feel ugly. When women feel unattractive and have issues like depression or other mood problems this feeling can lead them to very dark places inside. May God forgive, but some women even feel like taking their lives over such feelings. May God deliver each of us from this suffering, but until then some women just make it through the day by not trying to put anything on themselves to make it harder to manage their own responsibilities. Sometimes that inner feeling of "ugliness" can distract us away from just our basic duties if it's too strong, and make us ineffective altogether at anything.

It is true that women are to be valued. And it is true that sometimes there's a break in the system that keeps this from happening in the ideal way and we all do the best we can to compensate. And for all you ladies out there who can relate to this post, there are some hijabs out there that can truly make you feel beautiful. visit www.wegdan.com to see them! I know they inspired me to think about re-covering and buying a new wardrobe to match lol!

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Permalink Reply by Jamila on May 19, 2010 at 2:00pm

As-salam alaïkoum ,

Thank you so much dear Jamylah for exposing such subtle and deep realities that occidental reverted women (like me!) may be facing. May this comment of yours help people from everywhere to understand these realities without judging.

Wa min Allah at-Tawfiq. Fatiha

Jamila

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Permalink Reply by Fatime Miah on May 19, 2010 at 2:06pm

Salaam,

that is right. I were thinking the exact same thing in these few days as i am waching my daughter to grow. It is very sad that our society in western countries and also in the muslim countries are like this.

I like to write more but i have to go now.

jAMYlah Estrada said:

I think it's best if we all keep in mind that there can be several factors which go into a choice, whether it's a choice of obedience or disobedience. A lot of us are sick in one way or another, most often emotionally. Those of us who grew up in a western country and are female (especially if we are converted to Islam and are not reared from birth in it) learn, whether we want to or not, that a woman's value is based on her attractiveness. So many of us girls grew up learning how effective it is to get attention and care from boys or men by appealing to them! So many of us girls have felt "messed up" inside on days when we didn't look as good as we would like. This is not an easy thing to undo, and when you add so many other factors to a person's makeup it can truly become complex. In fact, I think I can safely say that if women, even women on the path to God, didn't feel this need, you would not see so many pictures (even on this very website) of women at their most beautiful, whether they are wearing a hijab or not! Honestly I've wondered to myself if we really truly strived to be more pious if we wouldn't try to make ourselves as ugly as we possibly could.

Islamically men are admonished to cherish and value women as gifts from God and take care of them physically and emotionally regardless of their outer beauty. The best of men can do this with a woman even if her inner character isn't the hottest either. But truth be told, a lot of men struggle to make that kind of emotional investment into a woman, even if he cares about her immensely, if he doesn't find her physically attractive in some way. That's just the real, and as a result we women suffer and rely on what we've come to see as dependable, to get our deeper needs of attention met.

We would all love to be ideal, and I think most of us ladies on here would love to be free of the need to be "pretty" to feel worthy and valuable. My point in saying this is that for some women, wearing a hijab makes them feel ugly. When women feel unattractive and have issues like depression or other mood problems this feeling can lead them to very dark places inside. May God forgive, but some women even feel like taking their lives over such feelings. May God deliver each of us from this suffering, but until then some women just make it through the day by not trying to put anything on themselves to make it harder to manage their own responsibilities. Sometimes that inner feeling of "ugliness" can distract us away from just our basic duties if it's too strong, and make us ineffective altogether at anything.

It is true that women are to be valued. And it is true that sometimes there's a break in the system that keeps this from happening in the ideal way and we all do the best we can to compensate. And for all you ladies out there who can relate to this post, there are some hijabs out there that can truly make you feel beautiful. visit www.wegdan.com to see them! I know they inspired me to think about re-covering and buying a new wardrobe to match lol!

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