Women & Tariqah Issues

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Permalink Reply by Catherine Connell on March 17, 2009 at 3:30pm

As-salaam alaykum sister Alfaqueerah.

Women have the right to education, in particular religious/spiritual instruction. Is haqqani tariqat not the essence of religion?
Thanks for posting~

C

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Permalink Reply by Abdul Rahman on March 18, 2009 at 7:31am

As salaam mu alaikum,

I would just like to state 1 thing; Only Rasool saws was a mahram to every women, and could be with them alone. Talking to your sheikh alone or what not is disallowed no matter how pious you believe the person to be.

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Permalink Reply by Amadiasepti Virgida on March 18, 2009 at 11:07am

I'm not in any position to address your queries. However, I'd like to share some experiences.

it's indeed difficult to live far away from our murshid, especially in urgent and important matters such as consulting for marriage, divorce and travel. i used to have a kind of envy to those who could be around Mawlana Shaykh Nazim or Mawlana Shaykh Hisham or Mawlana Shaykh Adnan. But because that's the way it has to be, i continue doing what makes me enjoy being on their path. The yearning is always there but alhamdulillah perhaps that's one thing making the spiritual connection with our murshid stronger. there are times when even for simple matters such as picking up ppl's rubbish was instructed through the heart, or saying istighfar many times without knowing the reason, and so on. i began to believe tt indeed our murshid can reach us through the heart. it then began to be a series of exercise to dissect which one is our murshid's voice n which is our ego's or shaytan's. sometimes we think it's what our murshid would want but it is in fact our ego. it takes time to begin to see which is really which. n i guess it is a lifetime exercise. daily practices prescribed by our murshid do help in strengthening the connection. but of course again, it all depends on God's openings cuz different ppl have their different shares of things. alhamdulillah, i believe tt we do make mistakes in life n just like parents, our murshid does let us make mistakes, which they know we'd learn from them. but because of our murshid's love on us, they won't let us go... just like parents, their kids will still be their kids even if they are naughty and often fall flat on the ground. insya Allah, a total belief that our murshid is always there no matter how far we think he is physically helps a lot in life.

as for parents' or husband's authority, it is unquestionable. a mother becomes our wali if we r single, but a husband becomes our wali if we r married. at the end, it is the husband who's gonna be asked on whether or not he has provided his family with opportunities to obtain guidance towards the Sirathal Mustaqim. the husband may have a certain way of guiding, he may or may not be exposed to the tariqah way. but whatever it is, the wife should keep praying for the family, including for the husband, so that God will open the hearts and lead all to the right path. the wife may try her best to subtly help her husband/parents to see the beatiful way of tariqah she is seeing, but only God has the decision to send openings to the heart. I'm speaking from my own experience, cuz there are things which are different between me n my husband. at the beginning, i was indeed unwise, arguing some of his decisions. but then i get tired n i learn, just let it go, go with the flow n leave it to Allah. ask Him to show the best. alhamdulillah, for some of the things he was hard-hearted of, Allah began to soften his heart, and the same goes with me, for some of the things i was so stubborn at, Allah began to open my heart too. Lucky for me, he's also a tariqah person. So we do remind each other to always dua that Allah will always be pleased with our family. insya Allah, Allah will give us the best -:)

as for the technicality of the term 'mureed' and 'muhibbeen', i don't know anything abt it. what i know is i love being on the Path and hope that Allah will keep me n my family on the Path. n the Path is all about Love. i think there's a series of suhbah of Mawlana Shaykh Hisham, explaining the different definition of a mureed. some ppl use the term 'mureed' more lightly while others don't. for me personally, i don't refer myself as a mureed, only a follower. but to avoid complication of explaining to ppl who refer to me as a mureed, i usually just say 'yes' when they ask, knowing their level of understanding of the term. hehehe... -:) i hope my saying is a prayer tt Allah make me a mureed one day -:)

with love,
-igid-

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Permalink Reply by alfaqeerah on March 19, 2009 at 1:23am

Dear Igid. how are you?
Singapore misses you.
Anyway...you mentioned about 'a series of exercise to dissect which one is our murshid's voice n which is our ego's or shaytan's.'
Tell me more about this! How do you do this?

Amadiasepti Virgida said:

I'm not in any position to address your queries. However, I'd like to share some experiences.

it's indeed difficult to live far away from our murshid, especially in urgent and important matters such as consulting for marriage, divorce and travel. i used to have a kind of envy to those who could be around Mawlana Shaykh Nazim or Mawlana Shaykh Hisham or Mawlana Shaykh Adnan. But because that's the way it has to be, i continue doing what makes me enjoy being on their path. The yearning is always there but alhamdulillah perhaps that's one thing making the spiritual connection with our murshid stronger. there are times when even for simple matters such as picking up ppl's rubbish was instructed through the heart, or saying istighfar many times without knowing the reason, and so on. i began to believe tt indeed our murshid can reach us through the heart. it then began to be a series of exercise to dissect which one is our murshid's voice n which is our ego's or shaytan's. sometimes we think it's what our murshid would want but it is in fact our ego. it takes time to begin to see which is really which. n i guess it is a lifetime exercise. daily practices prescribed by our murshid do help in strengthening the connection. but of course again, it all depends on God's openings cuz different ppl have their different shares of things. alhamdulillah, i believe tt we do make mistakes in life n just like parents, our murshid does let us make mistakes, which they know we'd learn from them. but because of our murshid's love on us, they won't let us go... just like parents, their kids will still be their kids even if they are naughty and often fall flat on the ground. insya Allah, a total belief that our murshid is always there no matter how far we think he is physically helps a lot in life.

as for parents' or husband's authority, it is unquestionable. a mother becomes our wali if we r single, but a husband becomes our wali if we r married. at the end, it is the husband who's gonna be asked on whether or not he has provided his family with opportunities to obtain guidance towards the Sirathal Mustaqim. the husband may have a certain way of guiding, he may or may not be exposed to the tariqah way. but whatever it is, the wife should keep praying for the family, including for the husband, so that God will open the hearts and lead all to the right path. the wife may try her best to subtly help her husband/parents to see the beatiful way of tariqah she is seeing, but only God has the decision to send openings to the heart. I'm speaking from my own experience, cuz there are things which are different between me n my husband. at the beginning, i was indeed unwise, arguing some of his decisions. but then i get tired n i learn, just let it go, go with the flow n leave it to Allah. ask Him to show the best. alhamdulillah, for some of the things he was hard-hearted of, Allah began to soften his heart, and the same goes with me, for some of the things i was so stubborn at, Allah began to open my heart too. Lucky for me, he's also a tariqah person. So we do remind each other to always dua that Allah will always be pleased with our family. insya Allah, Allah will give us the best -:)

as for the technicality of the term 'mureed' and 'muhibbeen', i don't know anything abt it. what i know is i love being on the Path and hope that Allah will keep me n my family on the Path. n the Path is all about Love. i think there's a series of suhbah of Mawlana Shaykh Hisham, explaining the different definition of a mureed. some ppl use the term 'mureed' more lightly while others don't. for me personally, i don't refer myself as a mureed, only a follower. but to avoid complication of explaining to ppl who refer to me as a mureed, i usually just say 'yes' when they ask, knowing their level of understanding of the term. hehehe... -:) i hope my saying is a prayer tt Allah make me a mureed one day -:)

with love,
-igid-

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Permalink Reply by Amadiasepti Virgida on March 19, 2009 at 4:50am

Dear.... hmmm.... am I wrong to guess that u are Mastura???

hehehe... how are u my dear??

anyway, again i'm in no position to address your queries. all i can do is sharing what i've experienced, u may or may not have similar methods of figuring things out based on connection to Mawlana. u just have to try and see how it goes.

1) establishing daily rabita n muraqabah strengthens the connection, with that connection, more love comes n purification process is more effective.
2) consistently doing daily awrad (no matter how little it is) helps purifying the heart; hence, the distinction between divine whispers and evil/egoistic whispers will be made clearer.
3) lots of self-reflection, especially inwards reflection... trying to understand what's going on inside us (but this basically will come into place as the purification of the heart thru the awrad is taking place)
4) oh ya... i was advised to do meditation by Shaykh Nurjan... but i'm not that dilligent yet (notty me). hehehe.. but u must try it my dear -:) it will definitely help, insya Allah.

at the beginning, i myself didn't understand what rabita n daily awrad do, i just did them. but then, as time goes by, things become clearer to me. slowly i began to understand what they actually do to my life. the understanding of course is at the lowest level of mine. for sure, the exercise gets tougher along the way, hence strengthening connection to Mawlana is continously important.

i myself have problems with consistency... so for me, it goes ups and downs. sometimes i am led to listen to the divine whispers; sometimes i do still follow my selfish ego and satanic whispers, totally veiled from the divine whispers. and sometimes, i am a notty little girl too, ignoring a divine warning despite having heard it. hehehehe.. but whatever it is, i can only hope that Allah will keep me on this Path of Love, under the wings of Mawlana Shaykh Nazim -:) most importantly, as my husband always says, always ask for Allah's Help... for without His Help, we will not be able to do even the slightest act of worship, nor consistently do the awrad.

pls don't take everything i share as the truth. i'm just sharing some experiences. if they are useful, alhamdulillah. if they are of no good, please pray that Allah will forgive me.

luv,
igid

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Permalink Reply by Amadiasepti Virgida on March 19, 2009 at 7:37am

on a second thought... i don't think u r Mastura. I think I know who you are but I don't think you wanna be mentioned here. How are you my dear???? write to me pls. if i knew it was u, i might have addressed u slightly differently. hehehe..

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Permalink Reply by alfaqeerah on March 19, 2009 at 12:19pm

Salam dearest...its not mastura..
It's me!
I sent you to the airport when you were goin back to indo...I was running from T3 to T2 to T1..or was it T3 to T1 to T2..either way i was lost..coz T3 was new..i think u know whooo..hehehe..there was only me and another family who sent you off right?? ;) ;) ;)
If you do know who...keep it hush hush.. SSSHHHH!!!! hahah...

By the way....
another QN!!
What's the difference between muraqaba and meditation..arent they the same?? And what you mean by the excercises get more difficult...narrate! explain! heheh..pls do pls dooo. Jazakillah habibaty..I hope you and baby are fine and doing great!...ur husband too.. ;)
Amadiasepti Virgida said:

on a second thought... i don't think u r Mastura. I think I know who you are but I don't think you wanna be mentioned here. How are you my dear???? write to me pls. if i knew it was u, i might have addressed u slightly differently. hehehe..

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Permalink Reply by Amadiasepti Virgida on March 19, 2009 at 2:12pm

hahahaha... yes, i know who you are my dear. i remember exactly how rushing you were thinking you might have missed my flight.

anyway, despite havig Shaykh Nurjan advised me to do meditation, i haven't actually checked how to do it, cuz as u know... i m rather notty, can't even do the little points 1 to 3 i listed earlier consistently. muraqabah to me is a much simpler concept then the real one, which is sufi meditation. hehehe... at my level, the meaning of muraqabah is simply aligning oneself to the murshid in whatever act of worship we do; which is actually the first step in the sufi meditation (or the actual muraqabah, which techniques are still a bit too complicated for me.hehehe..) the website nurmuhammad.com will help u once u come to practising the sufi meditation.

getting more difficult means sometimes it doesn't get simpler to see and distinguish the different whisperings. if we succeed at one case, other cases may be or are often always more difficult to disect. for certain simple things, such as picking up ppl's rubbish our ego could still handle to have itself being lowered. but for bigger cases (which are different from one individual to another) such as having had to follow ur husband staying in a city u don't quite like n struggling for months n still not adapted to staying there is harder. we thought tt our murshid would want us to hijrah while actually it was what our ego wanted. our murshid might have actually wanted us to be at least a lot more patient and wait for further signs and openings. perhaps our hearts would soon be opened n staying in the city would be made easier. that's just a simple example of how the exercise could possibly get harder -:)

but trust me... everything does get easier once we let go, not pushing for certain things to go the way we want them to be, and instead just pray for the best and leave everything to God. besides, we are blessed to have Mawlana, who for sure will only send us lessons that will benefit our spiritual development.

ok.. for everyone who reads this thread of messages, pls don't take what i said as the truth as i m just sharing what i personally experienced and with definitions that are understood at my lowest level. pls pray that Allah will forgive me -:)

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Permalink Reply by alfaqeerah on March 19, 2009 at 2:28pm

ALhamdulillah! I am enlightened...
Uhibbukifillah katheeran!!!!!!!!!

Amadiasepti Virgida said:

hahahaha... yes, i know who you are my dear. i remember exactly how rushing you were thinking you might have missed my flight.

anyway, despite havig Shaykh Nurjan advised me to do meditation, i haven't actually checked how to do it, cuz as u know... i m rather notty, can't even do the little points 1 to 3 i listed earlier consistently. muraqabah to me is a much simpler concept then the real one, which is sufi meditation. hehehe... at my level, the meaning of muraqabah is simply aligning oneself to the murshid in whatever act of worship we do; which is actually the first step in the sufi meditation (or the actual muraqabah, which techniques are still a bit too complicated for me.hehehe..) the website nurmuhammad.com will help u once u come to practising the sufi meditation.

getting more difficult means sometimes it doesn't get simpler to see and distinguish the different whisperings. if we succeed at one case, other cases may be or are often always more difficult to disect. for certain simple things, such as picking up ppl's rubbish our ego could still handle to have itself being lowered. but for bigger cases (which are different from one individual to another) such as having had to follow ur husband staying in a city u don't quite like n struggling for months n still not adapted to staying there is harder. we thought tt our murshid would want us to hijrah while actually it was what our ego wanted. our murshid might have actually wanted us to be at least a lot more patient and wait for further signs and openings. perhaps our hearts would soon be opened n staying in the city would be made easier. that's just a simple example of how the exercise could possibly get harder -:)

but trust me... everything does get easier once we let go, not pushing for certain things to go the way we want them to be, and instead just pray for the best and leave everything to God. besides, we are blessed to have Mawlana, who for sure will only send us lessons that will benefit our spiritual development.

ok.. for everyone who reads this thread of messages, pls don't take what i said as the truth as i m just sharing what i personally experienced and with definitions that are understood at my lowest level. pls pray that Allah will forgive me -:)

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