You Know You Are a Sufi When...
1) You think Dr Seus' next book should be called "Horton Hears a Hayy".
2) When someone asks you “what time is it?” you think Judgement Day has come.
3) You envy the garbage man because he is getting all the baraka for taking people's trash
4) Your idea of "Saturday Night Live" is a big hadrah with 100 mureeds and broadcasted in real time on Sufi Live.
5) Instead of using LOL when chatting you use MOD (meditating out loud).
6) Every person you meet is either your brother or your sister.
7) You think your cat is a Jin.
8) You have The Lord of the Rings, Star Wars and The Matrix labeled as research material in your movie collection.
9) You think your neighbor's cat is a Jin too.
10) Whenever a disaster movie comes out in theater you think it is a sign of Armageddon.
11) You wear more decorative items than your wife: rings, taweez necklales, scarf, perfume, etc.
12) You thought about starting your own humus business called “I can’t believe it’s not humus”.
13) You need a Project Management software to do all your awrad.
14) Your new addiction is now hadratine instead of caffeine.
15) You find deep subliminal messages in Obama’s speeches.
16) All your passwords and credit card codes begin with either 786 or 313.
17) You can cry at will.
18) All your socks are waterproof.
19) You think it's cool to wear skirts.
20) You think Jeovah's witnesses are not that crazy after all.
21) You eat with your hands at a restaurant and when the waiter asks you why you are not using the spoon you respond with a serious face like that kid from The Matrix: "there is no spoon".
22) The US Army's slogan "be all that you can be" reminds you of Tariqa.
23) You have a bumper sticker that says: "Jesus is coming. Look busy."
24) When a beggar asks you for money you give him all your cash, kiss his hand and ask him to pray for you because you think he's a Wali in disguise.
25) Deep down inside you have the heart of a hippie: you travel everywhere, believe in the Higher Dimension and think aliens and mermaids really exist.
26) You know exactly why the chicken crossed the road.