Funny Fellowship

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Comment by Abdul Khaliq ar Rabbani on February 8, 2011 at 9:08pm

Okay, I have been thinking and thinking and thinking, as soon as I stopped thinking and surrendered to Allah my mind fills up with thoughts. Here are some thoughts that I am trying to turn into stand up for Muslim audiences. Now  please, Insha'Allah keep in mind that I am a reverted Musliman. I had a bizarre sense of humor before Allah tapped me to Love The Creator, as well as His creations. Now my humor is not bizarre, only weird.

 Again, keeping this in mind here is a sampling of what Allah joyously causes me to think about.

 One of the first, if not the first thing you learn to do in Islam is how to pray, praying pleases Allah, but I don't think think Allah was real pleased with me at first, especially when it came to wudu, or ablutions.

That is the ceremonial, but necessary cleansing of the body before prayer, learning wudu the right way can be a messy thing, and we pray 5 times daily.

  I was an altar boy growing up, I swore that I would never spend so much time on my knees again.....well The Creator has a great sense of humor. An aging fatman, that already has bad knees will be on his knees at least 20 times daily, not just on his knees, but up and down. Just like being an altar boy again. Only now I don't have to worry about not putting enough wine in the priests chalice.

Comment by Guru Gundha-Bacha on June 6, 2010 at 5:17pm

MSN,"..........But they are making me to reach Qutb al-Mutassarif, the pole of this world, who can do as it is written on the Preserved Tablet. And I am running to him that he was with our Grandshaykh, yet he is on his power. That one is only going to be one. One! And he is sultan for this world.

Comment by Abdassalam Granger on October 9, 2009 at 4:25pm

How many Wahabis does it take to change out a light bulb?

Answer: None.....they hire someone else to do complex chores.

Comment by Abdassalam Granger on October 8, 2009 at 9:34pm

How many Naqshbandis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer: it depends on the HUWAttage.

Comment by Abdassalam Granger on September 16, 2009 at 8:56am

One day, a Sufi Master and two of his Mureeds were sitting and drinking tea at an outdoor cafe, speaking of things spiritual. Suddenly, a very beautiful, young lady happened to walk by them. Although dressed appropriately, the young lady was without question the most beautiful that any of the men had ever laid eyes on. As she passed on to her destination, one of the Mureeds exclamed, "SubhanAllah!". The Shaykh responded, "Indeed". The next day, the Shaykh and his Mureeds were at the same cafe drinking tea while discussing the finer points of a very deep subject, when again, the same beautiful young lady passed by them. Again, they were all amazed by this heavenly creature, and the second Mureed exclaimed, "Alhamdulillah!". The Shaykh responded, "indeed". On the following day at the usual time, the two Mureeds were on their way to the cafe to see their Master. When they turned the final corner, they couldn't believe what their eyes presented to them. Sitting at the same table as always was their Shaykh.....with the same beautiful woman! Totally flabergasted, one Mureed asked his Master, "Oh my Master, what is this? Has this lady become your student?" The Master replied, "No Abdullah, she is not my student, she is now my wife!" Abdullah replied, "How can this be oh my Master?" "My dear Abdullah, you and your Tariqat brother Hasan, while expounding on the Gloray of Allah, and exclaiming that all Praise is for Allah, forgot one even more important phrase." "Pray tell me oh Master, what is that?" The Master replied, "Oh Abdullah, when I saw this Heavenly manifestation of beauty who is now my wife, I simply said, and silently: InshaAllah!"

Comment by Sultan's servant(zaynab) on July 10, 2009 at 10:44am

Mullah Nasruddin was cutting a branch off a tree in his garden one day. While he was sawing, a man passed by in the street and said, "Excuse me, but if continue to saw that branch like that, you will fall down with it." He said this because Mullah Nasruddin was sitting Mullah Nasruddin said nothing. He thought, "This is some foolish person who has no work to do but go around telling other people what to do and what not to do."

The man continued on his way.

Of course, after a few minutes, the branch fell and Mullah Nasruddin fell with it.

"My God!" he cried. "That man knows the future!" He ran after him to ask how long he was going to live. But the man had already gone.

Comment by admin1 on July 7, 2009 at 12:29am

Mullah Nasiruddin got a job at the Bazaar as a porter. On his first day he had to load bags of wheat onto a cart. The foreman noticed that he was carrying one bag where the other workers carried two. The Forman asked the Mullah, "How come you only carry one bag at a time and all the others carry two?" The Mullah replied, "I'm not that lazy to make one trip when I can make two."

Comment by Fatima Rajapakse on June 14, 2009 at 12:45pm

Hodja wanted to learn how to play the lute.So he approached a music teacher and asked him. "How much do you charge for private lute lessons?"

"Three silver pieces for the first month; then after that, one silver piece a month."

"Oh, that's very fair," exclaimed Hodja. " I'll start with the second month."

This is from the Book "Essential Sufism".

Comment by Fatima Rajapakse on May 26, 2009 at 2:41pm

Salaam alaykum, my brothers and sisters, The postings here are so hilarious ! my husband enjoys them too!.Right now i do not have any really funny stories to tell, but i would like to copy some of your stories to another site, where i think the people will enjoy. Don't they say that laughter is the best medicine? I guess, next to Prayer and Meditation!
InshaAllah, i hope this is alright!
May Peace and Blessings be upon you all

Wa Alaykum salaam

sister Fatima

Comment by Jawad Mustafa Meyer anNaqshbandi on May 22, 2009 at 11:41pm

A sardarji with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what happened to his ears and he answered, " I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron an stuck to my ear." "Oh Dear! " the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. .. what happened to the other ear?" "The man called back again.

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